The Way We Talk

How do you talk to your kids?  Why is the way we talk with our children so important?

Photo cred: thesilverpen.com

I LOVE this. Have you ever stopped and listened to the way you talk to your kids?  You might be surprised at what leaves your mouth (either good or bad). 

Take time to stop and think before you speak to your children.  There can be SO many benefits to thinking before speaking.

Here are some ways we can help our children have a heathy inner voice they will carry with them throughout the rest of their lives:

1) The CAN's

Let your child's inner voice be one that speaks endless ability and potential.

Instead of always nagging: {stop touching that, don't make a mess, stop crying, you can't watch TV, etc...} tell you child what they CAN do instead. What happens to your child when they get older and the words that repeatedly play in their head are "can't, don't, stop, etc...".  

What if the inner voice of your child always heard "No, you can't" - where will that carry them?  They want to try out for the swim team and they hear in their head: "No, you can't".  They want to play a musical piece in an assembly and they hear "No, you can't".  They want to go to a prestigious college and they hear "No, you can't".  They will never reach the incredible potential that lies within their soul!

**Of course there are always exceptions to this rule, like when you are about to see your toddler run out into the middle of the street.  Of course you better be Yelling {STOP!}**

When you redirect your child's attention and tell them what they can do, it gives your child a new focus without feeling like they are always doing something wrong!

Instead of yelling "NO" when your child is throwing dirt on another child at the playground, tell them what they can do with the dirt instead. "It's not nice to throw dirt, but you CAN build a hill or a tunnel with the dirt".  The older sibling snatches a toy away from the younger sibling, "You CAN take turns with this toy." Or "you CAN go find another toy to go play with".  

You and your children have incredible capabilities that some of you are probably even unaware of.  Don't take those possibilities away from you or your child by listening to the inner voice that tells you, you can't.  Because you CAN do anything.  I truly believe that. 

2) Be Positive

Let your child's inner voice be uplifting and motivational.

Your first priority is to put your energy towards the raising of your children.  Every, even the tiniest of actions, you notice your child doing, take time to let them know they are doing something good.

Also, talk to them about the positive and motivational experiences you have in your life!  Your kids look up to you more than you know!



3) The Cold Hard Truth

Let your child's inner voice, be one that speaks reason and truth.

Why do parents make stories up to try to convince their child that what they are saying is true?  Does it really make your job as a parent easier?  How many myths do you remember from when you were a child? {If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow in your belly...not a good example...just an example}

My favorite growing up was the "we'll see" response.  If we ever asked for anything and we got the "we'll see" answer, we used to get pretty excited and then soon learned that it was just a ploy for prolonging the tantrum that might follow had we been told NO in the first place.  Why?  Why would you get your kids hopes up when you know all along what your answer is going to be.

Explain and reason with your child through situations when they don't get their way.  They are NOT always going to see eye to eye with you (they're kids...) but at least they will learn how to reason and compromise.  If they know you are going to be truthful with them, chances are the truth will carry with them as teenagers and adults.

Love your children and nurture them, and chances are, they will have a positive sense of self because of that inner voice which you have created for them!

Talk on!