The Way We Talk

How do you talk to your kids?  Why is the way we talk with our children so important?

Photo cred: thesilverpen.com

I LOVE this. Have you ever stopped and listened to the way you talk to your kids?  You might be surprised at what leaves your mouth (either good or bad). 

Take time to stop and think before you speak to your children.  There can be SO many benefits to thinking before speaking.

Here are some ways we can help our children have a heathy inner voice they will carry with them throughout the rest of their lives:

1) The CAN's

Let your child's inner voice be one that speaks endless ability and potential.

Instead of always nagging: {stop touching that, don't make a mess, stop crying, you can't watch TV, etc...} tell you child what they CAN do instead. What happens to your child when they get older and the words that repeatedly play in their head are "can't, don't, stop, etc...".  

What if the inner voice of your child always heard "No, you can't" - where will that carry them?  They want to try out for the swim team and they hear in their head: "No, you can't".  They want to play a musical piece in an assembly and they hear "No, you can't".  They want to go to a prestigious college and they hear "No, you can't".  They will never reach the incredible potential that lies within their soul!

**Of course there are always exceptions to this rule, like when you are about to see your toddler run out into the middle of the street.  Of course you better be Yelling {STOP!}**

When you redirect your child's attention and tell them what they can do, it gives your child a new focus without feeling like they are always doing something wrong!

Instead of yelling "NO" when your child is throwing dirt on another child at the playground, tell them what they can do with the dirt instead. "It's not nice to throw dirt, but you CAN build a hill or a tunnel with the dirt".  The older sibling snatches a toy away from the younger sibling, "You CAN take turns with this toy." Or "you CAN go find another toy to go play with".  

You and your children have incredible capabilities that some of you are probably even unaware of.  Don't take those possibilities away from you or your child by listening to the inner voice that tells you, you can't.  Because you CAN do anything.  I truly believe that. 

2) Be Positive

Let your child's inner voice be uplifting and motivational.

Your first priority is to put your energy towards the raising of your children.  Every, even the tiniest of actions, you notice your child doing, take time to let them know they are doing something good.

Also, talk to them about the positive and motivational experiences you have in your life!  Your kids look up to you more than you know!



3) The Cold Hard Truth

Let your child's inner voice, be one that speaks reason and truth.

Why do parents make stories up to try to convince their child that what they are saying is true?  Does it really make your job as a parent easier?  How many myths do you remember from when you were a child? {If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow in your belly...not a good example...just an example}

My favorite growing up was the "we'll see" response.  If we ever asked for anything and we got the "we'll see" answer, we used to get pretty excited and then soon learned that it was just a ploy for prolonging the tantrum that might follow had we been told NO in the first place.  Why?  Why would you get your kids hopes up when you know all along what your answer is going to be.

Explain and reason with your child through situations when they don't get their way.  They are NOT always going to see eye to eye with you (they're kids...) but at least they will learn how to reason and compromise.  If they know you are going to be truthful with them, chances are the truth will carry with them as teenagers and adults.

Love your children and nurture them, and chances are, they will have a positive sense of self because of that inner voice which you have created for them!

Talk on!

Own It!

Never be afraid to make it your own!  Experiment.  Be daring.  Be brave!  But be ready to make mistakes.  Consider yourself lucky if your creation turns out perfect on the first try!

You would be amazed at the number of paint samples I own, furniture that found a new home, meals that ended up in the garbage, fatigued muscle from arranging and rearranging.  

The little red tick-tock clock

One of my favorite failures was this little red clock.  I found it amongst a pile of junk at a garage sale and ended up having this clock given to me.  For free.  I didn't see the potential of this clock and it sat, brown and dull, on a shelf for a couple of weeks. It sat until my husband and I were making DIY christmas present picture frames (which turned out awesome) and I fell in LOOVE with the red we were using.

I painted the red on, and was not so in love anymore.  And long story short, through a series of FAILED attempts to love this clock, it is now my favorite accent piece in the house and have used it to adorn many areas that I feel are lacking.  This clock has made its way around the house, always being the perfect finishing touch to whatever mood I am trying to create.

Thankfully I am not here to talk about every failure I have ever experienced.  {That would take far too long} But am here to MOTIVATE and INVIGORATE.  The fact you may have failures is a sure sign you are succeeding; it means you are doing which is amongst some of the greatest success. 

What failure has caused you to fall in love?

Ruffled

Every human deserves to escape, daily, to the serene haven they have created in their heart by the way they have personalized their home. Whether it be the fresh aroma's streaming from the kitchen, the personalized room to escape to, or having happy kids, it can all be achieved by creating the right environment to surround yourself with.  I have had many heart haven's throughout my life, and am here to show how they have been accomplished.  

I know that when you have an inviting house that has been transformed into a home, all who enter will be enclosed in that peacefulness you have created.  Different areas of the house have been at some point in time an escape where I can feel like I can breathe slowly, thinking calmly, and sigh relief.

{A ruffle: bunched together in chaos but can be found very beautiful.}

Journey with me as we smooth the ruffles that arise to create a sweet, beautiful life. Come create personal DIY spaces, recipes, along with personal inspirations from a mom who experiences a ruffled life with keeping up with the demands of everyday responsibility. 

If life ever feels too overwhelming, and you seem unable to create those haven's you so desperately desire, reflect on these wise words:

"You can be excellent in every way. You can be first class. There is no need for you to be a scrub. Respect yourself. Do not feel sorry for yourself. Do not dwell on unkind things others may say about you. Polish and refine whatever talents the Lord has given you. Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart. Love life and look for its opportunities." ~ Gordon B. Hinckley

It has only been recently that I have realized the potential that ALL people are capable of, including myself.  Let us not waste another day to move forward to find the joy in each step we take.